back to drawing

interesting process sometimes...
feel like i've gone rusty all over again...trying to sketch out the updated 'script'...all these images in my head, and when i come to draw them they don't come out fast enough...and basically look crap...
i get disheartened.
But
must remember that the first draft of the first scene looked VERY crap to start with...by draft two it started to come together...by draft 4...and the clean-up stage it looked kinda alright...
and of course it STILL needs so much extra work.
but the 'writing' process becomes more important as a SCHEDULE of sorts...
at least it's a bit like a List or a Map..I have a clearer idea of what else i have to do...maybe easier to prioritise with this document rather than drawing blindly what's milling in my head...
but i still don't think it is LOCKED IN - and nor should it be at this point either - because so many things emerge from the actual DOING of it, the MAKING of it..
am i just making excuses?
I DO know that i also need to get some more experimenting done with the treatments  for each scene and shot...means playing around more with the software...
why does it always feel like i am 'wasting time' by playing around witht he software...
is it from my old days of studio and commercial work where you just Locked something In and got On with It beacuse time and money were of the essence..
This is an important point.
How much time and money should be allocated for this kind of development? - where to stop? - does it stop?
i mean, my (possibly spurious) argument is that this short-animated-filmmaking process is Not about locking off a text script and then joining the dots like they only even seem to talk about in the "how to" books, but about evolving and emerging visual stories...from the Visual, not the Scriptual.
so
i must Argue with myself that spending more time in development is the Most CRUCIAL..
i just need three of myself though..

anyway...first thing i spose is to get these rough sketched shots completed for the next draft rough animatic and then decide which one i am going to work up with some painterly treatmenting..
but i have uncontrollable urges just to DO the bloody painterly treatmenting right now also.
hmmm...am up to "scene 5"... or should say "sequence 5" out of 14 at the moment...
target by friday - sequence 8,
.......plus some painting fun to quell the beast >_<

and i also need some sleep or some peace.
spent the night weeping and gnashing teeth like my dear girl in the film.
maybe it's a kind of "method animating" ha ha